What happened after all the incidents…

Sorry dear reader, sorry, sorry, sorry. Pardonnez nous. All these excuses are for those who have been waiting restlessly for news from their three Dutch heroes and simply didn’t get what they were craving for. Like heroine junkies we kept you hooked with every now and then a tiny non revealing update on our twitter or facebookpage (Henk, Marten, Minne). Questions were hurled at us like balls in a grandslam final, but we had no return, no back and no forehand. What happened to Noflik, and Doutzen? Where the hell are you passports, no wait, where the hell are you guys in the first place? What’s your next project? Etc. It didn’t stop, which shows us the great admiration that you’ve naturally developed for the three daring philanthropists that form the ThreeLeftHands. Well, to incline to your desires, let us begin at where we ended.

First off, you people were unaware of the fact that the greatest killer of Africa also tried its luck on Minne. Of course Minne fought it off with relative ease, grace and determination –with some help from some medicine-, but let us tell you Malaria is no fun; it knocks you back for a week, if not two.
After this, we wanted to by an incidental beer, but discovered that we had reached the bottom of our funding. Well, as three resourceful Dutch blokes this does not form a problem, hardly a challenge. Long enough were the months that we lived of the charity, being charitable and pretty, so we decided that we had to make some money. Henk made his way to backpacker-mecca Capemaclear to work as a private tutor, barman, gardener and bon vivant. Minne and Marten Drove good old Doutzen to Lilongwe and started a little company there; Minne selling his infamous computerskills and Marten selling his recently acquired capabilities as a mechanical engineer/ electrician.

All was well in the wonderful land of Malawi, and though you might say we’re mentally depraved for not leaving this country after jail, heavy corruption and all the other hardship that has befallen us, we like it here. Plenty of opportunities, nice weather, friendly people… all sorts of factors that make a man want to settle down. Settle down?! No wait, we didn’t say that, didn’t happen. We will never. As long as there’s work to be done and parts of Africa to be re-explored, we will not settle down. Let’s just call it a welcome break, alright?

Anyway, after about a month, the first hitch arrived in this clear streak of ours. Surely, bliss for vagabonds like we are can never exist for too long. It’s in the middle of the night, when most horrible episodes in most dark tales evolve, when Minne wakes up from a restless sleep; he was dreaming of a beerless world filled with ugly women and no Linux anywhere, and was almost glad he woke up. It took him a second to realize where he was; outside Mufasa Backpackers, next to the car, where he went to sleep because it was so incredibly hot inside the building. It took him another second to realize why he was woken and the shock of that dramatic experience widened his eyes with agony and fear. Next to his head (his head, ladies and gentlemen!) a stray dog, like you find so many in the abandoned and dusty streets of Lilongwe, was giving our Noflik an advanced class of indoor plumbing and lubrication.

Minne quickly jumps to his feet, but although he chases the dogs through the streets for about half an hour and pours cold water over them, the part-time lovers refuse to separate and Minne only succeeds in giving the locals that are still awake a good laugh. No Noflik, No… What did we tell you about street dogs? They’re no good, they only want to use you and then to dispose of you, there’s no love involved, you stupid brat! Now why didn’t you let your daddy’s find you a nice Rottweiler to love you and caress you and together you could’ve created the most fantastic puppy’s the face of the earth ever had seen or felt? Why this Shakespearian tragedy?

Like true loving parents however, we killed the stray abuser by means of extensive torture and decided to take Noflik back in our benevolent arms as a gesture of our boundless mercy to a creature so beautiful and innocent as our dog and took care of her during her two months of pregnancy.

How many pups, how ugly, how tainted by Malawian dog spirit and what are we to do with them? Questions, questions, questions. All to be revealed in our next blog, which will arrive much sooner and will give answers to urgent questions like where did Henk go? Or where was Marten during the dogfest? And also, what is Nofliks favorite color? And more stuff you really want to know!

(More excuses: due to a lack of camera’s, no pictures available. Feel free to send us camera by airmail/ We like NIKON)

Tags: broke, cape maclear, malawi, noflik, work